Yes, it’s that time of year. The time of the dreaded office X-mas party. These things are usually a white-knuckle affair for me, but I’m a contract worker (read: temp) so it’s even more harrowing this year. Seriously. Everyone trying to be nice despite the fact that I clearly frighten most of the people here. Also, I can’t eat a damn thing so they all eye me suspiciously and speak loudly about the diet they plan to start as soon as the holidays are over. Because, you know, I’m thin and not eating so I must be on a diet of some kind. Hello! If dieting worked they’d all be Kate fucking Moss!

I’m thinking five minutes of face time then I’m outta here.