For serious. Who sucked all of the air out of the world and replaced it with toxic plant-derived poison? Besides the Bush administration? Stop spreading your pollen you freakin’ sadist trees and grasses!!! And probably molds too!!! My lungs? Not to be pollenated! No matter how hard you try! And making more of it won’t change this fact!!!!!!!!

We have been SOOOOOO sick with allergies, it’s ridiculous. The OM has even stooped to taking Benadryl (for the uninitiated, the OM is the opposite of a hypochondriac — she won’t take ANYTHING — except alcohol). I, of course, have taken enough to float an elephant. In just the past four days.

Basically, from 5:30 am-ish to 4:30 pm-ish I am a shaking, shivering, body-aching, sniffling, coughing ball of uselessness. I was in bed until 3:30 today. It’s bizarre. Apparently whatever hates me has a very specific bloom time. Or something.

For ghod’s sakes, we lived directly downwind from the toxic Pile (The World Trade Center rubble) with inches of ash and dust all over the apartment and…nothing. Not even a cough. WTF world? Why you hate me?